Signs You Were A Parentified Child

Parentification is emotional abuse and leads to relational trauma.

👉 Parentification is a series of moments where there is role reversal, with the child stepping into the role of caregiver. The child in these situations is energetically and emotionally older than their parent. It can be easy for them to step into this call but they miss out on appropriate development, emotional attunement, and the joy of childhood by taking on a too big a responsibility.

This can happen in two ways. Instrumental parentification is when a parent assigns responsibilities that are not age or developmentally appropriate. Emotional parentification is when a child moves in to identify and fulfill the emotional needs of their parent.

An adult who was a parentified child may now struggle with...
- vulnerable intimacy in relationships
- have people pleasing and codependency
- appropriate boundaries
- deep abandonment and rejection wounds in relationships

✨️ This happens for a variety of reasons: emotionally immature parents, substance use, mental health issues, poverty and SES, parent's own childhood traumas, and lack of support.

Signs You Were A Parentified Child:

• You grew up thinking/feeling you were responsible for others and that if you didn't things would fall apart
• You were often praised for being responsible, strong, and mature
• You often felt that others in your life were unreliable
• You felt that being hyper self-reliant and independent was better than being disappointed when you were let down
• You saw your parents struggling to care for their emotions and stressors and felt it was your job
• You may now have people pleasing and codependent relationships

An emotionally healthy parent recognizes what is and what is not developmentally appropriate responsibility to give to a child. More importantly they know that their emotions are their one to manage and are secure enough with themselves in order to meet their own needs and desires.

💛 You can absolutely heal from the trauma of parentification. You can begin to differentiate yourself and your emotions from others by creating safety within yourself.

Is this a part of your story? Are you wanting to grow from it? Let me know!

xx,
​Roxana