Do you ever wonder how you'll know when you are more healed?

Well, first we should acknowledge that life is a series of highs and lows. You will never simply "arrive" to your healing and be finished. Until the end of your human experience that is. But, healing your inner child brings forth more security in you and trust in your ability to manage challenges as they come. 

When I went through my healing journey, I experienced what I now know is called, "a dark night of the soul." I was at the lowest point of my life. Struggling to find the energy to take my sweet dog out for walks and barely able to speak to others. I took time off work and I rested. It wasn't a conscious choice at the time, I won't pretend it was. It came from absolute need and body shut down. 

It was rock bottom until I dedicated to my future self and my core belief- that things could get better.

I began the work of guided meditations to access my subconscious memories and journaling daily to further process what was coming up.

It felt like a literal metamorphic period 🐛 👉 🦋

I emerged as a more confident, secure, and brave person and therapist. I felt more able to help my clients because I truly related to their experience. It energized my soul in a way I had never experienced before. Thus- The Conscious Healing Program was born. I knew I needed to share my knowledge with others. I knew it was possible for healing to be achieved. 

Here are some of the things that have changed for me since I did the healing work: 

• I feel more connected to my authentic intuitive voice
• I manage my emotions and reactions with intention and more care
• I hold myself accountable to my goals 
• I am able to set and hold boundaries
• I express my needs and feelings with others
• I feel connected to myself, to source, to others in my life
• I raised my self-worth and am able to choose higher self-worth actions
• I dropped the shame, lack, doubt that held me back for so long
• I feel more secure in myself and therefore in my relationships
• I feel more creative than ever before 
• I stopped using substances and media to numb to emotions
• I feel joy, gratitude, and abundance daily in my life 

These changes are possible for you too. You can heal, you can feel better, you can!! But it won't happen without intentional effort.

Sounds good, right??

If you're ready to begin healing your inner child send me an email, let's get on a complimentary consultation call and talk more about your exact needs. 

xx, 
Roxana

I find that it is easier to understand  big concepts through real life experience. So let's walk through a little pattern my friend Josephine struggles with to better understand how her childhood patterning was impacting her adult life. 

Josephine is a 34 year old she/her living in Los Angeles, CA. Since she was a pre-teen she has struggled with depression and anxiety, for which her parents helped her receive care. For a while it would dissipate, but after five years in her role as project manager she found herself utterly despondent and disillusioned by life.

"I'm just over it. Nothing makes me happy. I want to give up," she told me. 

She thought there must be something seriously wrong with her! She came from a good family, made 150k annually, had her own apartment, a sweet partner, and friends a plenty.  

As we spent more time together, it became clear that Josephine had long held a dream of becoming a pastry chef. In fact, she would make these chocolate macaroons for our friend's parties that were better than anything I've tasted in Paris! 

When I asked her why she had not pursued her dream she was full of limiting beliefs and programming: 
🥐 Well you can't make enough money from a bakery
🍪 I should have a serious job and climb the corporate ladder like my dad! He has good retirement benefits 
🍩 I wouldn't be good at running a business. I would fail and that would be embarrassing

Josephine is my dear friend, so I encouraged her to begin exploring her childhood patterns to better understand why she felt it was so impossible for her to be a successful pastry chef. 

She used the Conscious Healing Program's wounded meditation to learn that her fear of not having money came from a family who had fled their home country. She was told that having a CAREER was the only way to find security and safety in life. That it was the most important thing in the world. And yet- her working parents had gone bankrupt in the 2008 recession and she saw her community lose homes and resources- it seemed that even a career couldn't keep you safe and this filled her with more anxiety. 

Josephine used the reparent meditation to begin filling her subconscious with another possibility. One where personal satisfaction and joy would be important. She began to identify other people in her life without "conventional careers" who were making it. Our friend, Jon who left his family company to start his own investment firm, a friend who created a Paleo online store, and our dear friends The O'Connor's who sell dog merchandise made from Mexico online! Somehow- they were all making it and more-they were joyful and filled with purpose. 

And in what appeared to be just her luck-with more time at home during the pandemic she began baking for her neighbors. Just for fun. Soon she was receiving personal requests for birthdays and weddings. Nothing big but enough that she knew she was living as her authentic self. 

Though these changes didn't happen over night, Josephine has now sold her treats at several farmer's markets this year! She found that baking brought her so much joy it made staying at her job easier. She hasn't left her job...yet. Real life concerns her and because the programming is so deep- she is not ready to step into full trust. AND THAT'S OKAY!!!! You don't have to make a big sweeping change for it to work.

You just have to steps toward yourself. 

Josephine messaged me a few days ago saying, "I made you the carrot cake you like." Oh wait... no it was this one, "My mom messaged me the other day asking if I would make their anniversary cake. I just wanted to say thank you- my mom never believed in me, or so I thought. Through doing the work- I see now how I was the only who could give myself permission to be this person." 

You may have had a wonderful childhood and never thought to look back on it. You may feel you were not affected by your parents beliefs- patterning can be so sneaky, nuanced, and deeply rooted that you may not have noticed where it is at play. 

Exploring your childhood is so that you can become consciously aware of the childhood imprinting and patterns you witnessed at this stage of development. 

👉👉Curious if patterning is at play? Answer these questions in your journal: 

• What pattern am I curious about?
• What feelings come up around this pattern? How does it make me feel about myself?
• When do I notice myself falling into this loop?
• What did I witness in childhood? Was there anyone who acted similarly?
• What need does this pattern fill? How does it serve me?
• What would a healthy conscious parent do? How can I meet this need now?

💫 When you become conscious of these patterns you can make changes that are more aligned with your true self.

I wanted to share with you about some of the most common misconceptions about trauma work. First, we should understand the different trauma diagnosis that exist. 

• Acute PTSD: This is the one we hear about when thinking about soldiers returning from war, car accidents, medical emergency, etc. It stems from one incident or (one block of incidents) in a short period of time. 
• Complex PTSD: C-PTSD is the one we refer to when talking about childhood trauma. This is when the traumatic incidents are chronic, ongoing, and widespread throughout a period of time. 

Many experience acute ptsd within their c-ptsd. Both of these would leave you with long lasting impact in mind-body-soul. The good news? Trauma focused psychotherapy can help facilitate your healing. 

This brings me to the common misconceptions I hear about trauma work: 👉 I'll have to talk about the trauma again and again > You will bring forth the traumatic events but you will do so in order to better understand the impact and perceptions it has created for you. There is absolutely no need to go over and over the moment - AS IT WAS. In fact- in the conscious healing program we learn to reparent these events by visualizing them having happened in the most supportive to you way. 

👉 Bringing up trauma memories is scary and not worth it >  Whether you consciously remember your traumas or not they are effecting you. The only way to create change around them is to bring them into your conscious mind. This can be scary but learning how to regulate your emotions and nervous system will only make you stronger. Remember! The subconscious will not reveal anything to you that it feels your ego is not ready to handle. 

👉 It will take YEARS of trauma therapy before I heal >  It will take time to heal but you will begin to see the changes in yourself within months. Clients who went through the 8 week program found their symptoms decreased and their understanding around themselves and their trauma grew. 

👉 My family will not believe me and nothing will ever change, so why bother? > You cannot find healing at the feet of those who hurt you (willingly or unwillingly). Doing trauma work will help you realize this limiting belief and how it has held you back. When you change the world around you changes to meet you. Your family may not understand but healing your core creates a more secure sense of self that is not locked into the enmeshed dynamics that family trauma can create. (Also... have to toot my own horn and say: many of my clients begin talking honestly with their family about their experiences while doing the work... just saying 😄)

👉 My therapist will be overwhelmed and not want to see me anymore > This is a belief that trauma creates. The shame and shadow of trauma keep us isolated and hidden. Your therapist of all people is trained to hold space for your trauma. You don't need to ever apologize for showing up and being vulnerable, crying, trauma-dumping, with me. I am honored that you let me see you fully. 

Exploring your childhood is so that you can become consciously aware of the childhood imprinting and patterns you witnessed at this stage of development. 

We don't bring up the trauma for *funsies* and then just send you out into the world, No- we bring the trauma forward to learn about how it's showing up TODAY.

In order to own your future- you must make sense of the past 💫

If you're ready to start healing from your childhood send me an email and set up a free consultation call [email protected]. 

The Heal Your Inner Child Course is now available to do on your own time! Check it out and sign up here.

You are strong. 
You are capable of healing. 
Healing is possible. 
You are worth it! 

xx, 
​Roxana